How is your Soul?

I recently asked the younger generation that I work alongside with, “Do you find time is going by fast, quickly?”  They responded, “Yes! It was just the beginning of May and now it’s June. How did that month go by so fast? In fact, time is flying by.”

Phew, OK, it’s not just me. I am over 50 and I thought it was just my being ‘over the hill’ and time was rushing by so quickly! Apparently, I am not the only one who is finding it hard to keep up in these fast-paced days.

We live in a current culture that demands so much of our mental and emotional resources. With the onset of access to the internet and a plethora of information at the touch of a button, no wonder it feels like life is speeding up. We’ve never before had this much access to information, videos, health information, cooking tips, decoration ideas, and live news. It’s hard to keep up and I find that, although many of these resources are helpful, even entertaining, my brain feels tired and overwhelmed at times. So many ideas, so many thoughts, so much to process.

It reminds me of a different time in life, when we didn’t have phones stuck in our pockets, where life was simpler and carefree. I have fond memories of childhood, where our parents could let their children roam around the neighbourhood, with no worries, no phones… only a watch and an instruction to come home before dinner, which typically was at 5:00pm. They didn’t know where we were, just out with friends, playing, no fear.

What a different landscape we face today. Young parents are utterly terrified that there are predators lurking around, where the threat of kidnapping and abuse is not just a worry, it’s a reality. Children are monitored and kept much closer which unfortunately can cause increased stress and anxiety to rumble underneath the surface of emotions.

Stress and anxiety are a real challenge in today’s world. But how do we navigate this landscape as believers in Christ?

I love the verse in, John 14:27 (NIV)

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled, and do not be afraid.

How do I find peace when my soul is battered and bruised from all that the currently society is going through?

Fear is a real handicap to our faith in Christ. God never meant for us to come under a spirit of fear. 2 Timothy 1:7

For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind: (KJV).

My husband and I have been in pastoral ministry and leadership for over thirty years. I found recently that I was worrying about things more, my anxieties were higher, I was fearful of things that I am not normally fearful of. I was visibly tired, and drained, even though I love the role as a spiritual leader that I get to play.  What was going on?

I believe that my soul, had become weary. I needed space and time to be still, to be quiet and receive restoration from the Heavenly Father himself. This meant that I needed to stop and wait. To unplug from the work, the pressure the demands and the pace. It felt like a real invitation from the Lord himself.

Stopping, even though it was an invitation, wasn’t easy.  In fact, as I tried to stop and sit and invite the Lord’s peace in, the first emotion that I felt was lonely. That’s so weird, I don’t normally feel lonely. However, when everything stopped, I felt so alone.

Has this always been there? Has it been part of my story? What was I was filling my soul up with so never had to feel that emotion?

Old wounds of feeling alone, and abandoned, were buried deeply into the essence of my soul, never wanting to emerge for fear of exposure and rejection. These were ancient wounds, going back in my earliest days of my life. They were expertly covered over, with people pleasing, busyness and addictions to movies, media and music. Why? So, I didn’t have to feel the pain and sting of being alone.

That was in my soul. I am so very grateful that my Heavenly Father was very aware of my condition, and cared enough to bring this to the surface in order that He could bring me healing and restoration. Jeremiah 31:25

I will refresh the weary and satisfy the faint

I was in great need of refreshment, of revival of spirit, soul and body. So how then did He do it? Well, He has asked me for the pain that I had been carrying around being lonely. I gave all of my grief, and loss to him. I prayed, I journaled, I wept, and I sat in silence. I did creativity, and in doing very little… other than being intentional, He came and filled that lonely place with His love.

His Love, His Presence, satisfies the soul. His word is like bread and water to a starving soul. It brings sustenance. Hope. Renewal.

We may not be actual orphans, but we can feel like that depending on our ‘stories’ that take us back into time where we may have experienced, fear, trauma, abandonment or lack.

I am comforted with the scripture in John 14:18 –

I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.

I experienced a small revival of my personhood in Christ by taking that time off. Wow, it’s been so needed, and has changed my level of peace. The anxieties have calmed down, and the peace arrived. It’s not that I don’t struggle but something has shifted. I am no longer alone! Christ is right by my side.

That hidden and surprising deepest issue of my heart was loneliness, but there are many other hidden issues that we may face if we allow the stripping away and engage in intentionality of opening our hearts to God.  It could be a sense of deep unworthiness, shame, or even a sense that you shouldn’t exist.

I pray, that if the Lord is showing you that, if there is a surprising and hidden root in your life, that He is inviting you to bring it to Him, that you would have the courage and the strength to be intentional and give it Him. There is nothing here in this earth that can truly heal it. It will only be temporary comfort.

Allow me to leave you with this scripture. 2 Corinthians 1:3 (NIV)

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God

Amen.