Character Refining – Actually, I Just Want Healing!

There is a very real frustration that comes from a perceived healing need not being dealt with. Why doesn’t God seem interested in fixing the issues that seem to haunt us the most? Why do we keep behaving a certain way? Why won’t God do anything about it?!

In our journey of life, it’s common to seek healing for our wounds and struggles. While physical, emotional, and spiritual healing are important aspects of our walk with God, there’s another transformative process that often goes overlooked: the refinement of our character.

The refinement of character involves a deep examination and purification of our motives, attitudes, reactions, and desires, aligning them with God’s will. Instead of focusing solely on changing our circumstances or dealing with issues of the past, God refines our character, making us more resilient and steadfast in our faith. God’s desire is for us to embrace His refining process in our lives so we can reflect the character of Christ more effectively.

The Refining Process

I will refine them like silver and test them like gold. They will call on my name and I will answer them; I will say, ‘They are my people,’ and they will say, ‘The Lord is our God.

(Zechariah 13:9 b)

The refining process is unpleasant. There is no getting around it or pretending otherwise. By the very nature of refinement, there has to be pressure, exposure, loss and redefining:

Pressure – Refining of gold takes place in a furnace. Not even a fire or a flame – a furnace. That is an extreme pressure of heat. Without the extreme pressure, very little refining will take place.

Exposure –The impurities are revealed and seen, having been hidden as part of the gold up until now. They have remained unseen and unacknowledged up until this point and are now present to be seen for what they really are.

Loss – The whole purpose of refining is to lose these exposed impurities. Up until now, they have been considered a part of, and therefore as valuable, as the gold they lay within. Now exposed, they need to be separated from the gold and cast away.

Redefining – The resulting gold now needs to be redefined by its new purity. It is now fit for the next stage of its journey where it will be moulded and used according to the creator’s will.

When we apply these principles of refinement to our lives, we can see that this is a very different process to that of dealing with what others have done to us in the past. This is not about those things, this is about the state of our heart, this is about what we need to expose and let go of that we see as part of the gold that is our life but is actually an impurity.

These impurities can often be put down to character traits, or “That’s just who I am.” We can even put spiritual protections on anyone challenging them saying, “Well God made me this way.” We may struggle to see who we are without them, because they seem such an intrinsic part of the fabric of who we are. Or we may not see them as a character issue at all, but we continue to struggle with them. Things like:

Being jealous of others – feeling hard-done by and wanting what others have. Thinking you deserve better than others.
Being self-focussed – not being able to see how others may be struggling or not caring how getting what you want may affect someone else.
Not taking right responsibility – Putting things that are yours to do onto someone else, which often includes blaming others, situations and circumstances for not doing them.
Being passive – letting the world go by without you standing up and saying what you think, want or need to do.
Being ungrateful – Expecting others to give or do things for you without recognising the cost to them or expressing gratitude.
Arrogance – Being unwilling to be wrong or to be challenged. Seeing yourself as better than others and treating others differently to how you would want to be treated.

There are many more impurities that can nestle into our characters that we may not be aware of. But God wants to test our hearts so we do see them and we can cast them away as allow Him to purify our hearts.

God’s Furnace of Affliction

Behold, I have refined you, but not as silver; I have tried you in the furnace of affliction.

(Isaiah 48:10)

As we have already acknowledged, we need pressure for refinement to happen. How we respond to this pressure directly impacts how much refining we experience.

Our natural inclination is to escape difficult times, to avoid them or be rescued from them. Or we can ignore them or deny them.

The most common ways we escape the afflictions and pressures that we face are to:

Focus on Others – It is more than likely that the hardest afflictions we face are those that come from being hurt by others. By focussing on what they have done wrong, we can deflect from our own ungodly responses such as blame, judgement, criticism and unforgiveness.
Fall into Self-Pity – Self-pity is a passive state of everything being about how badly you have been treated and how the world needs to revolve around you and your pain. It takes little to no responsibility for working through or processing the anguish you are feeling.
‘It’s All my Fault’ or ‘I Deserve it’ – Making it an introspective issue that confirms deeply held beliefs about ourselves that are not based on God’s truth. This is the very opposite of allowing God to refine character.
Ride Out the Storm – There is a very real way of escaping affliction without having to look at your own heart. We can ride out a storm of life, just getting through each day and waiting for it all to go away. Eventually, it may but it often leaves its scars on our heart and less resilient to the next storm.
Rise Above the Storm – This is a way of coping that is seen as being ‘strong’ by other people. Where we can say that the storm isn’t affecting us, we are rising above it and it won’t affect us. As Christians, this can be wrapped up in spiritual language and victorious talk that denies expression and processing of the hurt, pain and injustice that we are really facing.

Afflictions are a great exposer of the impurities of our lives. How we react and respond when we face struggles show us what impurities are in our hearts. When we face the furnace of affliction, rather than praying for God to stop it or rescue us from it, we can be praying He uses it to expose the impurities in our character. Then we become more like Christ, responding to injustice, pain, rejection and suffering as He exampled on the Cross.

If we genuinely want to embrace God’s refining process, then we can join with James when he says,

Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.

(James 1:2)

God is With Us in the Process

The Bible is full of stories of how God refines a person’s character and how He remains with them in the process. When we look at the story of Joseph (Genesis 37-45), we can see a young man with promises of a bright future… one where his brothers would eventually down bow down to him. The promise existed but the character and maturity were lacking. This left Joseph hated by his brothers and sold into slavery, with his father thinking he was dead. Joseph then had a roller-coaster of a life: from slavery to being responsible for the whole of Potiphar’s house, then falsely accused of rape and imprisoned before he is released, and eventually becomes the ruler of the land of Egypt. It’s a crazy story of rags to riches, back to rags and back to riches. But the process was all about refining his character so he will be fit for what God had purposed Him for.

As it is with us. God promises to be with us through the trials of life, not just to help us through them but to use them for His purposes and for our good. To enable us to change through the process of refinement.

Character Refinement Leads to Healing

James goes on to say,

For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing.

(James 1:3-5)

The refinement process is a revealer of truth. It reveals the impurities that have been hidden and mis-defined as gold. John 8:32 says, “And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

Knowing the truth about the impurities of our heart will set us free from the slavery of sinful behaviours, reactions, comforts and deflections that have been hampering our walk with God. These can be fuel to behaviours that we have been desperate to see change but have never found that illusive healing for. When we allow God to refine us through our difficult times, yielding to His ways and His pressure on our hearts, then we will see an outworking to how we behave, react and live our lives. This is real change and transformative healing.

Refined for a Purpose!

God blesses those whose hearts are pure, for they will see God.

(Matthew 5:8)

Refined gold is a highly sought after commodity. After refinement it is redefined as a purer form of gold. The more pure the gold, the more precious, rare and expensive it is. When we talk about being a treasure in the kingdom of God, are we talking about significance, position or power? Or does God see a heart that is yielding to His ways, engaging with the refinement of character? If the only way we can become more like Jesus and reflect His glory is to be refined, then this is what God is seeking for in our hearts.

So be truly glad. There is wonderful joy ahead, even though you must endure many trials for a little while. These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold—though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honour on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.

(1 Peter 1:6-7)